College & University Information


College Roommates: Threes A Crowd


It's hard enough sharing a dorm room the size of a postage stamp with one person, but what happens when your roommate consistently invites friends and dates to hang out too? Even if you all get along, it can get old fast. Sometimes you just want a little privacy. At the very least, you don't want to feel like an outsider in your own room.

Whether you're dealing with your roommate's ever present love interest, or his obnoxious friends who "borrow" your stuff, you need to speak up. Roommate issues like this don't go away by ignoring them, so it's best to be upfront and work together to reach an understanding. Here are some tips that will help:

? Keep an open mind. It's possible that your roommate has no idea there's a problem, so don't assume he's trying to annoy you on purpose.

? Pick the right time to talk. Choose a time to speak to your roommate when the two of you can be alone. Explain that you have nothing against the other people involved, but you feel uncomfortable having them around all the time.

? Be assertive. Stand up for your own rights while respecting the rights of your roommate. You can't control who your roommate spends time with or when, but you do have a say when it affects your time in the room.

? Avoid accusations. Starting your sentences with, "you," sounds like an attack and will likely make your roommate defensive, as in: "You are being selfish." Instead, own your message by starting with, "I," as in: "I'm unhappy with this situation."

? Set reasonable expectations. If you leave the room every time your roommate has over a date or friend, he or she will assume nothing is wrong, and the problem will persist. Both sides need to compromise instead of one person making all the changes.

? Make a schedule. Discuss times when both of you need space to study, sleep, or just be alone and agree to make those times off-limits to guests.

If you don't like conflict, you may be tempted to avoid it by gossiping to other friends or complaining to your Resident Assistant without ever talking to your roommate first. Going around the issue will only makes things worse! By approaching your roommate calmly and respectfully, the two of you can work out an agreement that's fair without things getting blown out of proportion.

Susan Fee is a licensed counselor and author of the book, "My Roommate Is Driving Me Crazy! Solve Conflicts, Set Boundaries, and Survive the College Roommate from Hell" (Adams Media). She offers more college survival tips on her site, http://www.myroommateisdrivingmecrazy.com.


MORE RESOURCES:

UH business school will go solar
Bizjournals.com, NC - 9 hours ago
The Shidler College of Business will be the first school on the University of Hawaii at Manoa campus to install solar panels. The 4.5-kilowatt photovoltaic ...


Stillwater Area High School to sponsor alumni day Tuesday
Lake Elmo Leader, MN - 18 hours ago
... Marquette University, Mills College, New York University, Occidental College, University of Wisconsin – Madison, and University of Washington. ...


Wright, Robinson Lead Cougars Past St. Mary's
CM Cougars, PA - 8 hours ago
Vanessa Wright scored a game-high 18 points to lead the Misericordia University women's basketball team to a 76-54 win at Saint Mary's College of Maryland ...


Yorkville grad Trudo surpasses milestone
Aurora Beacon News, IL - 3 minutes ago
Aurora University Spartan men's basketball had its 27th player enter the AU 1000 Point Club in the Spartans 90-78 win over Cazenovia College at the Phoenix ...


Panthers drop third in a row, fall 76-67
Franklin News Post, VA - 16 hours ago
By STEVEN MARSH - Sports Editor DANVILLE -- Averett University's Grant Center continues to be a metaphorical house of horrors for Ferrum College's men's ...


Henry Brandt. 92, trotted the globe and used Bible to guide others
Orlando Sentinel, FL - 1 hour ago
For more than 50 years, Henry Brandt traveled the world using the Bible to counsel others. No destination was too far to go for Brandt. ...


Rotary Club Taking Ambassadorial Scholarship Applications
Bristol Herald Courier, TN - 14 hours ago
Two scholarships will be offered for a one-year study abroad program (country to be selected by recipient). Application deadline is April 30 for the ...


Filipino artist Amorsolo takes up residence at Pacific
Stockton Record, CA - 2 hours ago
By Jennie Rodriguez STOCKTON - Filipino artist Don S. Amorsolo comes from a family of artists discernible by the legacy of his grandfather, ...


Boston Globe

Something new brews in Berkeley: patriotic pride
Boston Globe, United States - Jan 3, 2009
College Democrats used a golf cart to encourage voters on Election Day at UC-Berkeley. (Jim Wilson/ New York Times) By Sasha Issenberg BERKELEY, Calif. ...


Basketball: Holyoak, Enos earn DAC honors
Rapid City Journal, SD - 2 hours ago
By South Dakota Mines and Journal staff | Tuesday, January 06, 2009 RAPID CITY — South Dakota School of Mines women’s basketball star Bethany Holyoak was ...

College-University - Google News

home | site map
© 2007